What is gentle parenting? 

First, welcome to the parenthood journey!!! Parenting is not a job for perfection. It’s about growing, learning, and living together, loving each other in this imperfect world. This parenting style mainly focuses on strong connections between parents and children through empathy, understanding, and mutual respect. 

To put it simply, nurturing the new generation of parents to raise a calm child in society. 

Does practicing gentle parenting make sense? 

Really, it’s not that gentle parenting is so soft, subtle of overchoosing and undiscipline at times. It gives freedom, but within the limits. 

It’s all about connection and bonding between child and parent. Like how adult relationships work on bonding, love, and care, the same way it works to the core between the child and parent. This connection with your child doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time on the go. But trust me, it’s worth the wait. 

This journey requires patience, consistency, patience, consistency, and keeps on going the same. 

It can be summed up in the following ways: 

1) Respecting their emotions. 

2) Showing empathy when it’s really required. 

3) Understanding their behavioural structure. 

4) Setting boundaries with clear expectations. 

It is guiding the child into a respectful, secure, self-loving human being. 

Say no to shouting! 

Say no to blaming! 

Say no to anger! 

Say no to Hitting! 

No more tantrums, etc. 

How does it work effectively? 

Example:

Every day as adults, we upgrade ourselves into a better version for tomorrow just by observing from the surroundings or from the past lesson, right? 

Just like that, to raise a well-disciplined child, simply treat the child as a human being. 

“Treat the child like you want others to treat you.” 

Obviously in a respectful manner, right? Then it works here also. 

Give them their own space. Let them explore and grow at their own pace. 

STOP, THINK AND RESPOND 

Imagine daily you are punishing your child for their misbehaving activities, and nothing is working out. What would you do to change your toddler when he misbehaves? Again punishing? No right?

So, start examining your parenting choices. Change your mindset from punishment to positive guidance. In fact, punishing children often leads to insecurity, fear, and resentment. They hide to share things and control their behaviours in front of us, scary feelings, etc. 

Let me ask you, How would you rate your parent’s parenting style? 

Would you want the same style for your child? If not, why?

There will be agree and disagree points with our generations, right? As parents, our habitual acts will reflect in our children’s behaviour also. Children learn and live the way they see now. Taking lectures or any threats or punishment may work at that instant, but definitely not in the long term. 

“If I raise my voice, I’m teaching my children that responding with yelling is acceptable. 

“If I show kindness, I’m teaching my children to be compassionate and kind to others.” 

“If I pay attention, “I’m clearly showing my children to follow and listen to other words.” When you actively listen to what they say, they feel themselves heard and respond with you assertively. 

It’s like the “monkey see, “monkey do” thing. 

Take a moment to think from a child’s perspective and then act accordingly. If you really want to correct with them, then just CONNECT with them. I agree, mistakes are often made here, but offering too many choices and too much praise won’t work here. If you feel tense or overwhelmed with emotions, take a minute, go back to the kitchen or wherever, take a deep breath, or count from 1 to 10 and analyse what really happened, why it happened, and think about how to correct this by connecting with the child.

Just slow down the process, not immediately yelling at children. Parent-child relationships will have a powerful impact on their future lives and how you handle them in a positive way. Let me discuss positive parenting, gentle ways to make them eat calmer, and sleep routines in an upcoming blog. 

Does gentle parenting spoil the children? 

Absolutely NO. You may be thinking that gentle parenting will let the child do whatever they want. It’s about setting clear boundaries in a loving and respectful way. Effective communication and consistency are also important factors in building trust and connection with your child. 

Gentle parenting says both “yes” and “no.” 

Imagine your toddler wants to pick some items from the market. Give them control and turn the tasks into games, like saying, Let’s try doing it this way. You pick all green veggies (say his/her favourite colour is green), and mom will pick all the red veggies.

Say calmly with a gentle tone and negative words like “no” or “don’t.” This will make them feel down. When they cooperate or any participation happens, just praise them for what they did. Don’t wait for 100% to complete. And ask them to do age-appropriate work in which they can at least give some involvement. Don’t expect a 2-year-old to do laundry and make no comparison with elder ones and their abilities. Each child is unique in their own way. 

Because their brain is growing each-day (Not fully developed to behave well in public) 

And if the baby throws food at home. Yes, it’s okay to throw food when they are exploring the food texture, and yes, if they only smash and are not eating. 

Will you eat the same taste, same routine food? 

Sometimes, we feel like eating biryani but end up with ice cream, right? 

Then why not the same applies for babies, where taste buds are developing each day? 

And say “no” politely when it’s really required and when they handle harmful things like glass, choking objects, etc. 

When the baby turns 8 or above, they understand the glass structure and its nature, and they know what happens when it breaks. 

So, they learn by observing, and it works well. Most parenting mistakes come from a lack of understanding. See, we are all humans; we make mistakes at times, we are angry at times, but doing it in a self-regulated, practical way helps us to treat them with wisdom and compassion. A peaceful response from a growing heart is better than harsh punishments and harmful words. 

Daily routine with gentle parenting toddler: 

From the moment they wake up until they go to bed, we as parents face different challenges daily. So, let’s get ready to start a day with lots of love and patience to make it a bit easier to handle the whole day. Start with a simple routine! 

First thing after waking up, it focuses on connection and affection. It’s a peaceful way to start a day with a toddler. 

Instead of rushing, encourage them to join the meal preparation process and give them choices of what to make. Allow playtime, do some creative activity along with them, have snack time together with some food play, try to incorporate outdoor plays, give open-ended play setup to think outside the box, where they come up with excellent ideas, and bedtime with a warm bath, read a book together with cuddling story times, etc. Spending quality time over quantity always wins here. Approaching daily routines will create an opportunity to connect more with your child. And most importantly, gentle parenting works well if self-care is taken properly. 

In a buzzing world, we forget about ourselves. If you really don’t care for yourself and have no time, then you will burst out at times with children. These emotions will affect their behaviours’. We can practice it many ways; even just for 10 minutes is also okay. 

• Any physical activity or morning walk  
• Mindful Meditation
• Doing some hobbies

Watching any show, anything it can be… 

It is very hard to find time in the 24/7 parenting job. Taking time for yourself is not selfish; it’s really necessary for being a wonderful parent. 

My view on gentle parenting:

I want my child to bond well with both father and mother. 

To have themselves and to love others and share things from the heart, healthy relationships are required. 

Yes, I appreciate my child and am not exaggerating. 

Yes, I will show empathy and not excessive compassion. 

And have clear boundaries of what to do and what not to do in a gentle way. Set up boundaries and routines by considering age limits, individual needs, etc. This will make sense for their safety and security. For example, screen off an hour before bed, meal time together, etc.. 

Key Takeaways

To say it another way, parenting is tough, challenging work. It’s a lifetime role facing different phases of life. It starts when you are pregnant, giving birth, sleepless nights, postpartum depression, breast-feeding journey, reliving your childhood again and no me time, etc. 

Then Baby grows up, goes to school, college, and many parts of life. Every phase of life is challenging. So, give it a try with a gentle way for a smooth transition. 

A peaceful, gentle journey will be a happy home forever. 

Put down your thoughts and share your short-term and long-term parenting goals for which you want to progress in this gentle journey. Will shares some tips based on your goals. 

I would always appreciate any comments. It helps me to share more insights on the parenting journey. If you’d like to know more about our goals, please take a look at our About Us page.

I do have a reference site, which helps me to understand more about gentle parenting. Please click here

We also wrote a facinating blog about tantrums and positive parenting .